It's raining today in NYC and it's not helping all these emotions. My grandmother passed away yesterday August 17th, 2017 at 6:30 PM. I was planning on visiting her today on my day off from work (thank you Resolution Media for Summer Friday's). As I'm blogging this on my phone and en route to be with my family, I can't help but get misty eyed thinking of her. I was in denial most of the last night because I kept thinking that I would see her today. It really hurts since death is not something we can control and no matter how mentally prepared you think you are, you'll never be truly prepared for all the emotions and grief for when it happens.
My grandmother was not in the best health conditions for the past three years and I was hoping she had the will to stay with us at least through Christmas when our cousins would be able to visit. Sadly, she admitted to myself and the family that she did not want to stay any longer. She was admitted to a hospice yesterday and I had plans to see her today...
I am afraid I'm going to burst into tears randomly because she was such a pivotal part of my childhood and raised me for a few years when both my parents were working and did not have the time to hire a babysitter. However, I don't want you to feel sorry for me - my grandmother is no longer suffering and I know that she is at peace. Everyone grieves differently but maybe you'll find my methods useful if you lost a loved one as well.
1. Don't be in denial - accept it...
This is the hardest one for me. As mentioned above, I was in denial all of the last night since I had made plans to see her today. No one expected her to leave so soon. Doctors said she still had time left...Not ONE day. It pains me to type this but spend as much time as you can with your friends, family, and loved ones.
Life is really short and you'll never predict how or when someone will go. I realized that the sooner I accepted my grandmother's passing as fact, the sooner I can be strong enough to prepare for what needs to happen. I need to be strong enough to bring my family together and assist with funeral preparations. I need to be strong enough to tell others that she has passed.
2. Keep busy (if you can)
This might not be for everyone but I'm the type of person that needs to be busy. I don't like sitting and home alone moping because it'll drive me down a dark and sad road. I want to try to maintain a "normal" routine as much as possible while making sure I'm spending time with my family. This doesn't mean you should act like nothing is wrong or that you're not affected. Of course, I'm affected. Of course, I'm but my life still needs to continue to move on. Time does not stand still and waits for no one. Don't waste time moping at home alone, your loved ones wouldn't want that...They would most likely want you to be happy after they're no longer with you. I know if (God forbid) I died tomorrow, I would want my friends and family to grieve and then move on while finding happiness. I'm tearing up again as I'm typing this but my grandmother would have rubbed my cheeks (she has a thing for rubbing my cheeks since I was a child) and tell me to do well in all aspects of life. Whether it's school or work, she's always encouraged me to give it my all.
3. Cherish the memories
I don't know how much more I have in me to blog about this because the topic is more difficult to write about than I initially thought. Remember them and all the memories you made with them. Remember their spirit, heart, and soul. They're always alive in our memories. Know that they are at peace and no longer suffering.
If you read this post, thank you.